Month: January 2017

Deep thoughts, shallow breaths

 

Am I a hypochondriac?

Do I focus on pain and suffering too much?

or is this world a giant version

of “Crabs in a bucket”?

Is it a blessing to live a long life or

would it be a curse of sorts

having to witness the hypocrisies

having to become detached

to ease your conscience

having to make excuses and

justifications for humanity

Pointing fingers, everyone has so much to say

but says so little…

Where are all the heroes and princes

I read about as a child? I guess

fairy tales are what they are…tales

The selfishness and shallowness

never ceases to amaze me

maybe I am crazy because I

even think nature can be brutal

The food chain? Eating each other?

We pluck flowers

because they look pretty

until they die…

then they are tossed as garbage

Who is the sane? what is really real?

are we all in (Plato’s) The Cave?

because we all seem delusional

some are just better at bullshitting

DAMAGED GOODS by Glenna McCarthy

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Available on Amazon E-Book and Paperback option also..

The future…

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Humor me and try to look at what I am suggesting outside the box..

Lets say in the future they manage to create cyborg/androids that resemble humans to a Tee. When they use our insecurities and selfishness to make us get one to keep up with the Jones how will a sense of “what is real” be defined. My past relationships have been smoke and mirrors on both parts. Sometimes due to arrested developement and sometimes just because it beat a blank. I get on the subway to go to work with my practiced ritual which consist of turning on music to black out te world. Stopping to get my morning tea with milk and then facing the crowded subway on 125th st in NYC. The hustle bustle makes me do exactly what I used to make fun of, play candy crush like my life depends on it. Sometimes I almost miss my stop seeing that I am so engrossed with my distraction from my anxiety but isn’t it a different type of stressors? I am trying to win a game with a computer…Are relationships usually a distraction but with a noble title (I am in a relationship) status on Facebook? …..oh getting back to my point if they created robots that looked like something that you were attracted too and gave good back rubs and were as predictable as a cat that can’t get out of your house that would always be there would you possibly use one for a substitute mate? 12645085_217273881951027_3111391096253500485_n

Life on life’s terms

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I haven’t been blogging too much lately because I am physically and emotionally exhausted and Friday the 13th was not a good day, I work to help my peers get Hep C treatment and although some of them are impossible I remember how impossible I was. The problem is now I am staff and that makes staff my peers as well.  Although I love my job there are many problems in medical when it comes to low income. It is a high-pressure environment and doctors get threatened and sometimes are nervous to go home from the South Bronx. I can see both sides of the equation but my heart is with the underdog and I challenged staff Friday. I still don’t know the outcome. Let me get to the point, I should have been elated that I finally got my book online and it took 15 yrs of dreaming and giving up. I guess what I am saying is that life still comes at you so although you have conquered one milestone there are many more to keep you on your toes. Medical, Psychological and just plain f-in tired and achy lol. I told myself that even if I got (Paid) with this book that I would not jump ship because you should be thankful for your first real job and not forget where you were but sometimes it is hard.

Me, Myself and I

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Who am I?

What do I really want?

What will set me free?

from these mental and emotional burdens

that also affect the physical…

Healthy mind/ Healthy Body

and ViseVersa

At least some balance

I watch the blind people

that make their way through

the busy and insensitive streets

of New York City

and wonder how do they manage

how do they look forward to the next day

When I have some downtime

and my thoughts go to the negative

Thinking…Why did so and so leave me ?

why did so and so hurt me?

I stop myself and say

WHEN DID I LEAVE ME???

and if it is not a case of me abandoning myself

due to never feeling whole or complete

I ask myself…

When am I going to build myself and

and be a better version of

complete? because I cannot

go on with the complete insanity

so I tell myself again

When?

not with anger but

with a love and nurturing

that was never taught

 

Finally…

I finally got my book published on Amazon Kindle so if you are interested its by Glenna McCarthy which is me!!!! lol

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ENERGY BETWEEN US

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Is it the person you love

or the energy that you share?

I know that I have suffered

other people’s negative and hostile

energy’s growing up…

To me, there is no better euphoria

then the feeling of safety

When you feel no enemies exist

you can let your peace and tranquility

take over, not the competitive

Rat Race of a world that we live in

but the soft side, that I crave

I know how it feels to hate and

be hated, I know how it

feels to attack and be attacked

If I fall for a mate it will be

because our energy flows in sync

I can’t help but hope that if there

is an afterlife that it is easier on

my nervous system, and if it

is just like sleeping without

dreaming, that is okay

with me.

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