Am I a hypochondriac?
Do I focus on pain and suffering too much?
or is this world a giant version
of “Crabs in a bucket”?
Is it a blessing to live a long life or
would it be a curse of sorts
having to witness the hypocrisies
having to become detached
to ease your conscience
having to make excuses and
justifications for humanity
Pointing fingers, everyone has so much to say
but says so little…
Where are all the heroes and princes
I read about as a child? I guess
fairy tales are what they are…tales
The selfishness and shallowness
never ceases to amaze me
maybe I am crazy because I
even think nature can be brutal
The food chain? Eating each other?
We pluck flowers
because they look pretty
until they die…
then they are tossed as garbage
Who is the sane? what is really real?
are we all in (Plato’s) The Cave?
because we all seem delusional
some are just better at bullshitting
Available on Amazon E-Book and Paperback option also..
Humor me and try to look at what I am suggesting outside the box..
Lets say in the future they manage to create cyborg/androids that resemble humans to a Tee. When they use our insecurities and selfishness to make us get one to keep up with the Jones how will a sense of “what is real” be defined. My past relationships have been smoke and mirrors on both parts. Sometimes due to arrested developement and sometimes just because it beat a blank. I get on the subway to go to work with my practiced ritual which consist of turning on music to black out te world. Stopping to get my morning tea with milk and then facing the crowded subway on 125th st in NYC. The hustle bustle makes me do exactly what I used to make fun of, play candy crush like my life depends on it. Sometimes I almost miss my stop seeing that I am so engrossed with my distraction from my anxiety but isn’t it a different type of stressors? I am trying to win a game with a computer…Are relationships usually a distraction but with a noble title (I am in a relationship) status on Facebook? …..oh getting back to my point if they created robots that looked like something that you were attracted too and gave good back rubs and were as predictable as a cat that can’t get out of your house that would always be there would you possibly use one for a substitute mate?
I haven’t been blogging too much lately because I am physically and emotionally exhausted and Friday the 13th was not a good day, I work to help my peers get Hep C treatment and although some of them are impossible I remember how impossible I was. The problem is now I am staff and that makes staff my peers as well. Although I love my job there are many problems in medical when it comes to low income. It is a high-pressure environment and doctors get threatened and sometimes are nervous to go home from the South Bronx. I can see both sides of the equation but my heart is with the underdog and I challenged staff Friday. I still don’t know the outcome. Let me get to the point, I should have been elated that I finally got my book online and it took 15 yrs of dreaming and giving up. I guess what I am saying is that life still comes at you so although you have conquered one milestone there are many more to keep you on your toes. Medical, Psychological and just plain f-in tired and achy lol. I told myself that even if I got (Paid) with this book that I would not jump ship because you should be thankful for your first real job and not forget where you were but sometimes it is hard.
Who am I?
What do I really want?
What will set me free?
from these mental and emotional burdens
that also affect the physical…
Healthy mind/ Healthy Body
At least some balance
I watch the blind people
that make their way through
the busy and insensitive streets
of New York City
and wonder how do they manage
how do they look forward to the next day
When I have some downtime
and my thoughts go to the negative
Thinking…Why did so and so leave me ?
why did so and so hurt me?
I stop myself and say
WHEN DID I LEAVE ME???
and if it is not a case of me abandoning myself
due to never feeling whole or complete
I ask myself…
When am I going to build myself and
and be a better version of
complete? because I cannot
go on with the complete insanity
so I tell myself again
not with anger but
with a love and nurturing
that was never taught
I finally got my book published on Amazon Kindle so if you are interested its by Glenna McCarthy which is me!!!! lol
Is it the person you love
or the energy that you share?
I know that I have suffered
other people’s negative and hostile
energy’s growing up…
To me, there is no better euphoria
then the feeling of safety
When you feel no enemies exist
you can let your peace and tranquility
take over, not the competitive
Rat Race of a world that we live in
but the soft side, that I crave
I know how it feels to hate and
be hated, I know how it
feels to attack and be attacked
If I fall for a mate it will be
because our energy flows in sync
I can’t help but hope that if there
is an afterlife that it is easier on
my nervous system, and if it
is just like sleeping without
dreaming, that is okay