Month: April 2017

TIRED

 

Why is it that I don’t even want to be touched

by another, everything feels awkward and forced

like faking an orgasm or pretending my fellow New Yorkers

don’t make me sick on public transportation…

Would a carefree life feel boring? I would like to try it

Why is it that we search for excitement and or validations?

In so many defeating circumstances and situations?

I am seeking BALANCE now

I don’t want to rush, I don’t want a surprise

I don’t even want to date because I don’t want to

have to figure anybody out, I got enough

on my plate

I want a world that I LIKE and I want a world that

feels SAFE to be in,

Why do things have to be EXTREME?

Fuck hard, EAT big, Have more,

PLAY HARD, LIVE HARD, FIGHT HARD

(LOVE HARD?)

and still, we are never satisfied

If it is not my doubts concerning my company

then it is my own self-defeating thoughts

that play over and over again in my head

NYC in all its glory, with its loud rude crowded streets

I have become a product of my environment  and

try to beat you to the punch and get the last word

I have been in overdrive for so long I don’t know how

to SLOW DOWN….It can be a DOG-EAT-DOG world

and I AM TIRED…

 

I IMAGINED YOU…

 

Don’t flatter yourself too much…

I created you…

I made you…

I imagined you….

No, I am not a GOD

No, I do not have delusions of grandeur

so I know I didn’t mold you from Clay or

bring you into this world magically

but I brought you into mine

I brought you into my face, space

emotions and reactions and

just like I created you to be  in my world

and making you out to be someone

you were not…

I am knocking you off the pedestal

that I put you on

I see I gave you way to

much power and way

to much of my energy

I used to be afraid to be alone

but I never knew the beauty it has

to offer when you give yourself the

power and concentration that

you were wasting on someone else.

Instead of creating my other half

I now realize I need to be whole by

myself because two hollows

DO NOT make a WHOLE…

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