Month: November 2017

EUPHORIA (needed)a.s.a.p.


I ask myself

if these aches and pains

health scares and fear of the unknown

were to cease would my life

actually feel good? not just better

When I practice breathing I get dizzy

and discombobulated, I have never

breathed correctly

I just took breaths

as a way to get oxygen

I am tired of medications

not knowing what is  the true culprit

due to side effects of from other supposed

remedies, I am tired, frustrated and lonely

cant connect with others because

the bitterness makes it too hard to try

but the bitterness also

says it is not yet a time to die

Life can be very trying ..



17361520_1434700229908322_7412211096618858947_nEven ants are better team players than humans

Do we connect with others to bond

and share an energy that feels like magic

or do we settle for someone who settles for us?

sometimes I feel that this world and life

itself is overrated but the experts tell me that

is depression, the crowded city makes me

feel stressed and overwhelmed but the

experts tell me that I am bipolar

I want to find love but cringe when

someone touches me

The experts tell me that is PTSD so

If all my discomfort and views are based

on mental deficiencies then what is

the true view of this world and its

inhabitants? Experts, please tell me

because I must have hope that my

grim view of pain and suffering on

the daily NEWS is just an illusion

Tell me all the lost souls I see walking

the streets like zombies that have no future

are just a figments of my imagination





The Language of Loneliness​


I used to wake right before the break of dawn

I didn’t know what to do with myself so

I figured it would be a good time to play ball

It was barely light and I saw a child

sitting on a bench near the basketball court

I was a nervous person and I am not a team player

but I know the feeling of need and loneliness

I challenged him to a game of horse

and we talked and laughed

I found out how toxic his home was

I tried to be his hero and his friend

I would buy him things and always

want to be the fun one

The reality was nobody ever taught

me how to love someone responsibly

So my own demons led me back to

my addiction and another distraction

I left as fast as I came and went

from being a people pleaser

to leaving him abandoned, when we

have no sense of inner balance we

are extremist and while I sat in jail

I always wondered what happened to him

I went out to the park to find my

inner peace again and once more I

saw a child in need of nurturing and

affection but I do not start a relationship

now to be the (good guy) I take a real

look at my life and what I really have to offer

Sometimes just being a friendly face can make

a difference



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