I am exhausted, emotionally and physically

I have changed my life for the better and it

is a never-ending commitment

I have embraced and endured

all the criticisms and cruelty so

I look to my teachers as guides and mentors

to tell me to be strong but to my amazement,

some can be the cruelest of all,

The leaders and examples

with their own insecurities and biases.

We are supposed to be part of the change

we are social workers, counselors

and a voice for the voiceless but…

I see that ‘unless’ you compliment their mask,

platform and agenda that you are expendable

you are going to be shut down, critiqued and confused

intellectual bullies are the hardest to understand

with the passive aggressive power plays

They are supposed to be the wise, the fair

they are supposed to be selfless or so I thought

in many cases that’s far from the truth.

I have been through so much,

AIDS, Prison, violence, hate, and poverty

I can admit my part

I can take fault and take responsibility

for my past, present and future actions

so if you are my teacher and teller of these wrongs

in the world, and the injustices why are you trying to

make me feel like I dont belong?

I cant fight forever, don’t add to the pain.